A devout Christian heard an urgent news report on his radio that a flash flood was within minutes of entering the peaceful valley where he lived. Immediately he went to his knees and prayed for safety. The words were still on his lips when he became aware that water was gushing under his door.

He retreated to the second floor and finally onto the roof of his house. While he sat on the roof, a helicopter flew by and the pilot asked over the loudspeaker if they could lift him off.

“It’s not necessary since I have the Lord’s protection,” he replied.

Moments later the house began to break up and he found himself clinging to a tree. A police boat, braving the waters, approached him for rescue, but he assured them that the Lord would save him.

Finally, the tree gave way and the man went to his death.

Standing before the Lord, he asked, “Lord, I’m glad to be here, but why didn’t You answer my prayer for safety?”

The Lord responded, “Son, I told you over the radio to get out of there, then I sent you a helicopter and a motor boat! What else did you expect?!”

Just when you thought the quality of Land Rover and Jaguar couldn’t possibly get worse…

CO2? Are you kidding me? From the founder of the Weather Channel.