Fantasy UnSports is a bold new endeavor in fantasy sports, one where the actual sports mean very little.

We award points based on what athletes do everywhere EXCEPT on the field.  DUI?  50 points.  Failed drug test?  25 points.  Homicide?  500 points.  15 touchdowns in a season?  Zero, zip, nada.  I don’t care.

Let’s face it, the off-the-field stuff is bigger news these days than in-game performance is anyway.  Quick quiz, who knows which former NFL running back has fathered as many as 11 kids with as many as 10 different women?  I see everyone has their hand raised, including Mr. Henry.  Now, who remembers which running back had more runs of 10+ yards in the 2008-2009 season?

That’s what I thought.

“I would rather she was alive and the car-jacker was dead. I’m weird.”

“I don’t like repeat offenders. I like DEAD offenders.”

Ladies and gentlemen, Ted Nugent, rock god and national treasure:

Handgun carry permits and their requisite rules are back in the news in Tennessee. Might I remind some of the criminal-coddlers out there of this incident last year?:

There was a deadly gunfight at a liquor store in Inglewood Saturday night. An armed robbery suspect was gunned down, after trying to rob the place. But it wasn’t a police officer who took action.

Customer Shoots Suspect In Liquor Store Robbery

6/30/09 – Update…Teddy skates…

Adam “Pacman” Jones has displayed a “disturbing pattern of behavior“? Who knew HE was trouble?

It appears that even the vehicle Jerry Jones was using to corral the incorrigible Pacman, a personal bodyguard/posse management team, failed to keep Pacman out of trouble. Who the hell fights with their own bodyguard?

Kernell, who is the son of Tennessee Democratic state representative Mike Kernell, is indicted on only one felony count of violating the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, but the indictment mentions an additional statute, the Stored Communications Act.

Dude…get a hobby. You’re in college. At the University of Tennessee. I went to school there myself. There are much “cooler” ways to get arrested. Hacking a vice presidential candidate’s email is not one them.

Oh, and you might want to buy some new t-shirts. Your dad’s flop-sweat stained undergarments are not doing anything for you.

Now that Fannie Mae is at the epicenter of a financial meltdown that threatens the U.S. economy, some are raising new questions about Frank’s relationship with Herb Moses, who was Fannie’s assistant director for product initiatives. Moses worked at the government-sponsored enterprise from 1991 to 1998, while Frank was on the House Banking Committee, which had jurisdiction over Fannie.

Well, well, well…who would imagine that a respectable fellow like Barney Frank could ever do such a thing?

MORE REGULATION
Rep. Richard Baker (R-Louisiana)
Rep. Ed Royce (R-California)
Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Connecticut)
Rep. Don Manzullo (R-Illinois)

DEFENDING FRANK RAINES
Rep. Maxine Waters (D-California)
Rep. Gregory Meeks (D-New York)
Rep. Lacy Clay (D-Missouri)
Rep. Arthur Davis (D-Alabama)
Rep. Barney Frank (D-Massachusetts)

Says Maxine Waters:

Under the outstanding leadership of Mr. Frank Raines, everything in the 1992 act (Community Reinvestment Act) has worked just fine. In fact, the GSE’s have exceeded their housing goals. What we need to do today is to focus on the regulator and this must be done in a manner so as not to impede the affordable housing mission; a mission that has seen innovation flourish, from desktop underwriting to 100% loans.
- Maxine Waters (D-California)

I think the responsibility the Democrats may have may rest more in resisting any efforts by Republicans in the Congress or me when I was President to put in some standards and tighten up on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
- former President Bill Clinton

According to the Associated Press, Carmelita Durio, Simpson’s sister, sobbed as he was being escorted out of the courtroom. As spectators left the courtroom, Durio collapsed and paramedics were called, court spokesman Michael Sommermeyer said.

It’s unfortunate that the Bruno Magli wearing double-murderer of Brentwood is till free. But rest easy; at least armed robber and kidnapper Orenthal James Simpson won’t be free to steal Direct TV any longer.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has directed nearly $100,000 from her political action committee to her husband’s real estate and investment firm over the past decade, a practice of paying a spouse with political donations that she supported banning last year.