Five ways to perform miserably on the Web

FAIL: Five Ways to Perform Miserably on the Web

Here are the highlights:

1. Andy Allman claims he’s against gay marriage. Well, that’s not exactly what he told the Hendersonville Star News on November 3, 2006. Allman said:

“The only way to injure marriage is to have it go through divorce and keeping two gay people from getting married isn’t going to fix that problem”

I really don’t care if he is or isn’t against gay marriage, because he isn’t going to win anyway…so whether Andy or the guy who bagged my groceries tonight is for gay marriage doesn’t really matter.

2. Allman’s attack mailer references two web pages at votesmart.org.

Feel free to compare them to the pages I’ve linked to below. They don’t work.

http://www.votesmart.org/npat.php?can>id=104753
http://www.votesmart.org/npat.php?can>id=48807

A candidate that can’t get “copy and paste” right doesn’t really need to be in charge of much.

3. Andy Allman suggest that Rep. Debra Maggart might not be opposed to the state income tax. Uh…yeah. Right.

Wednesday, come here, I need you.

Again, I would suggest that you get to know Andy Allman before being so quick to attempt to discredit him. The fact that his Civil Rights cases could set a standard for the country and help people that you and your candidate and party ignore is all that needs to be said about him and how he cares for people and their needs, not what they can do for him politically.

Even Sumner Democrat Party Chairman Len Assante got into the fray:

Finally, your characterizations of Andy are simply false. He is not what you say he is. Have you ever met the man? I have known him and his family for YEARS and know who he is and what is practice is about.

Hey EJ, take a chill pill, take a basic course in advertising, take a minute to meet the people you bash and another to learn about the industry you seem to despise. Maybe then you’ll moderate your view a little.

Len, you telling me to “moderate” my view gives me indescribable joy. Anyone who writes a column titled “Veer Left” shouldn’t be handing out advice on moderating their tone. Come on…we’re both partisan and you know this.

And, my college degree? Advertising. Suggesting that the advertisement for Kelly, Kelly & Allman was anything BUT a political ad shows your blind bias. Andy Allman has zero name ID in Hendersonville because he doesn’t DO ANYTHING here. So how do you remedy that if you’re Andy Allman? Run a soft political ad (under cover of your law firm) that shows a nice soft picture of your family. Where was Dulin Kelly? I guess he’s not running for office, so it’s really not necessary to put his mug in the photo.

And speaking of Dulin Kelly…no, I’ve never met Andy Allman, but my friend Bill Sinks, owner of Bluegrass Beverages knows him and his work. After learning a little more about Andy Allman’s work, it reassures me that yes, 99% of attorneys give the rest a bad name. The idea that Allman is some high-minded litigator tends to wither when you take a good look at the frivolous gutter-variety lawsuit he filed on behalf of his law partner, Dulin Kelly.

Mr. Dulin Kelly purchased gas for his Mercedes Benz at Bluegrass Market. His Mercedes had some technical difficulties and Kelly had the German junk towed all the way to Bowling Green, the location of his dealership. The dealership, after examining and repairing the car, declared the problem was caused by “bad gas.” To prove it, they extracted gasoline from the Mercedes Benz and placed the sample in the most pristine and sterile container known to man: an empty Pepsi bottle.

Meanwhile, back in Hendersonville, not a single person complained about “bad gas” purchased at Bluegrass Market. Not even local judge “Buck” Rogers. Bill Sinks pulled the record of credit card purchases and discovered that “Buck” Rogers purchased gas ten minutes after Dulin Kelly from the exact same batch at Bluegrass Market. In an even stranger twist of fate for the litigous Dulin Kelly and Andy Allman, “Buck” Rogers was the judge assigned to hear the complaint.

Upon hearing that he and Allman were about to have their heads handed to them in public, Kelly decided he’d settle out of court. Take a wild guess what he settled for…

Yes, a free tank of gas for Dulin Kelly’s Mercedes Benz. From Bluegrass Market.

I guess Andy Allman can’t spend ALL his time working on lofty civil rights. Screwing local businesspeople is a staple of any successful trial lawyer’s practice.