You mean she didn’t see this coming? Seriously? I mean…she’s blonde and all, but doesn’t the fact that you’re sharing an 82 year old man with two other dimwits clue you in to the fact that he’s not going to have children with you?

Hefner said Madison learned the pair would never have children or get married six months ago, adding: “The fact that she was depressed after that, I didn’t know at all. That was a revelation in the last days and weeks. Quite frankly, we thought when the time came, we would make a combined statement and we expected that combined statement would be somewhere in the weeks and months ahead.”

Keep your chin up, Hef.